"It Was a Celebration"
My mother died last Thursday just about exactly two years after she suffered a massive post-operative heart attack and nearly died. In July of 2008 we all waited and prayed while she went through a total of thirteen cardiac arrests. More than once we were called together to say our good-byes, but Mom recovered and we all received two "bonus years" with her. It was not easy for her these past two years, and she struggled with a very weak and damaged heart. Yet her strong spirit kept her going until last Thursday when she collapsed and could not be revived. So her death was not unexpected, but it was very sudden.
On Monday we celebrated her life at First United Methodist Church in Anderson where I grew up and where she and Dad have been active and faithful members for decades.
It was a CELEBRATION. At the close of the prelude "For All the Saints" our 3-year-old great-nephew shouted "Yeah!" Two grandsons, Steve and Eric, shared their memories of Grandma Coyner. Neighbor and long-time friend Max Culler played "Moon River" on his sax to celebrate Mom and Dad's 60 year marriage with their favorite song. Pastor Jeff Taylor preached a good sermon and offered helpful pastoral comments. We sang the hymn which had come to mean so much to Mother while she was hospitalized two years ago, "Surely the Presence of the Lord Is in This Place." And my sister Bonnie shared on behalf of all of us her thoughts about mother, using the word “CELEBRATION” to lift up the special qualities of Mother’s life. I share her outline with my sister’s permission:
C-Caring: Mother was one of the most caring persons anyone has ever met, always ready to help others.
E-Entertaining: Mom and Dad loved to entertain, were always ready with snacks and party themes.
L-Love: Mother’s love was not just for family, but extended to everyone. None of us can remember Mother ever saying anything negative about anyone. Never.
E-Energetic: Wow, she was a person of boundless energy, even during these last two years when she was so weak, her energy would fill the room.
B-Boiler: Mom and Dad were loyal Purdue fans, going to football and basketball games even when they no longer had kids in college there.
R-Reading: She was a voracious reader, often reading favorite books over and over, always having two or three by her nightstand and by her blue chair with reading lamp.
A-Attitude: Mother always expected the best out of everyone and every situation, even saying of road construction, “It will be so nice when it is finished.” To say she had a positive attitude is an under-statement.
T-Travel: Mother came from a small town in Indiana (Colfax) but she and Dad traveled much of the world, including trips to Hawaii (we just found her journal from that trip, and it is delightful to read), the Holy Land, Europe, and more.
I-Indian: Mother was proud of her Native American heritage, being 1/8 Miami.
O-Organized & on-time: She was so organized and for her “on time” meant being at least 15 minutes early.
N-Nina ... that Neat, Inspiring, Nurturing, Amazing lady we call Mother.
At Mother’s request from many years ago, we had white balloons at her funeral which we released at her graveside to the shout of “Amen!” from that same great-grandson of hers. We also gave each person at her funeral a piece of chocolate as they departed – just as Mother always did for guests at the close of a party in her home.
In every way it was a Celebration, which is the way funerals can and should be for Christian believers. We all will miss her, especially Dad who is adjusting to life without his life partner of 66 years, but we all celebrate and feel joy for her new life, too.